A Writing Day for Elizabeth Ashtree
-Walk the dogs.
-Feed and water the dogs.
-Play tug-of-war with dogs.
-Eat breakfast while reading newspaper.
-Check in regarding husband's plans for the day.
-Ensure high-school-aged son has consumed breakfast prior to melting
mind playing internet computer games.
-Go to office, turn on laptop, settle onto couch, urge dogs into
usual position as writing partners next to right thigh.
-Write and save to disks twice every ten minutes, usually forgetting
to change sitting position unless writer's block sets in.
-Consult dogs if writer's block strikes, otherwise write, write,
write.
-Recall that human body requires occasional stretch when dogs
suggests another walk.
-Grunt and groan to standing position with dogs hopping excitedly
underfoot.
-Walk the dogs. Pursue plot twists inside head en route.
-Talk to son to ensure minimal brain damage from internet computer
gaming. Insist on more than grunts in response to questions.
-Consider offer from husband to watch latest DVD on his oversized
and very manly television. Usually succumb to temptation and recline
in front of enormous television.
-Become bored with television prior to DVD ending and revert to
reading romance novel while keeping husband company in front of
television.
-Check on son during bathroom breaks to ensure limited muscle
atrophy due to continued internet computer gaming.
-Walk the dogs.
-Due to inability to stop reading in the middle of a chapter,
continue reading in office with laptop on lap as if writing frenzy
will resume at any moment.
-Dogs ensconced beside right thigh creates pleasurable warmth
leading to irresistible napping urge. Set laptop aside. Allow
dogs to drape selves atop body (luckily, dogs are very small).
-Nap.
-Walk the dogs.
-Resume upright writing posture on couch with dogs at right thigh.
Add sentence to earlier work and save to disk twice before becoming
consumed with guilt about not making lunch for son now that dinnertime
approaches. Consider dinner alternatives.
-Call for pizza delivery.
-Set out money for pizza delivery person with dogs hopping excitedly
underfoot.
-Instruct husband and son as to imminent pizza arrival and placement
of money within handy reach.
-Resume writing without dogs who have conscripted husband or son
to take them for walk.
-Return of dogs in writing partner positions results in departure
of writer's block.
-Write, usually forgetting to change positions until dogs recalls
they haven't yet been fed. Save twice to disks.
-Feed dogs.
-Eat cold slice from box of dismembered remains of pizza.
-Resume writing with fatter dogs beside right thigh. Notice darkness
outside and consult clock. Assess that writing until midnight
will result in completion of chapter.
-Call son to go to bed. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat firmly. Note son's
closure of internet computing game and arrival at sink for tooth
brushing. Read next chapter of current shared novel out loud to
him as per long-standing tradition.
-Return to office and write until eyelids droop. Recall that day-job
requires early awakening. Save work twice to disks.
-Recall that human body requires occasional stretch in order to
remain remotely limber.
-Grunt and groan to standing position.
-Take sleepy dogs out for last walk.
-Stumble with dogs to bed where husband is already snoring.
